Urban Fantasy Barbies? Say It Ain’t So

Somehow I missed this piece of the Twilight insanity–Twilight Barbie Dolls. Thanks to Amazon for sending me a coupon for $5 off the ripped Jacob Barbie (I’ll pass), which they describe as being “for the adult collector,” or I might have missed this phenomenon altogether. I’m boggled by the whole idea of people collecting Bella Barbie, Edward Barbie, Jasper Barbie, and now ab-packed Jacob Barbie. There’s also a Tonner 15″ “Turn Me” Bella Swan Doll with her foot in a walking boot.

I want Barbies for my characters, but only with accessories:

— The DJ Jaco Barbie, with an elven staff and a voice box so she can fling snarky insults at people.

— The Alexander Warin Barbie, with ripped abs and a full assortment of weaponry, including a grenade that clips to his belt. Doesn’t talk, but his facial expressions can change from glowering to really glowering.

— The Jacob Warin Barbie, with a bum leg covered in scars, a deck of cards, and a real bottle of Three Roses bourbon. Pull his string, and he comes up with an endless barrel of bad nicknames.

— The Jean Lafitte Barbie, with an assortment of knives and boots, cigars, and a decanter of brandy. Pull his cord, and he’ll curse at you in French, Spanish or Italian.

Get to work, Mattel.

This entry was posted in Blog by Suzanne Johnson. Bookmark the permalink.

About Suzanne Johnson

Author of urban and paranormal fantasy and romantic suspense, currently living in Auburn, Alabama. Author of the Sentinels of New Orleans series (Royal Street; River Road: Elysian Fields, Pirate's Alley, and Belle Chasse (Nov 2016). Writing as Susannah Sandlin, she is the author of the Penton Legacy series (Redemption; Absolution; Omega; Storm Force; Allegiance); The Collectors series (Lovely, Dark, and Deep; Deadly, Calm, and Cold); and the upcoming Wilds of the Bayou series (Book 1, Wild Man's Curse) releases April 2016).

One thought on “Urban Fantasy Barbies? Say It Ain’t So