Somehow I missed this piece of the Twilight insanity–Twilight Barbie Dolls. Thanks to Amazon for sending me a coupon for $5 off the ripped Jacob Barbie (I’ll pass), which they describe as being “for the adult collector,” or I might have missed this phenomenon altogether. I’m boggled by the whole idea of people collecting Bella Barbie, Edward Barbie, Jasper Barbie, and now ab-packed Jacob Barbie. There’s also a Tonner 15″ “Turn Me” Bella Swan Doll with her foot in a walking boot.
I want Barbies for my characters, but only with accessories:
— The DJ Jaco Barbie, with an elven staff and a voice box so she can fling snarky insults at people.
— The Alexander Warin Barbie, with ripped abs and a full assortment of weaponry, including a grenade that clips to his belt. Doesn’t talk, but his facial expressions can change from glowering to really glowering.
— The Jacob Warin Barbie, with a bum leg covered in scars, a deck of cards, and a real bottle of Three Roses bourbon. Pull his string, and he comes up with an endless barrel of bad nicknames.
— The Jean Lafitte Barbie, with an assortment of knives and boots, cigars, and a decanter of brandy. Pull his cord, and he’ll curse at you in French, Spanish or Italian.
Get to work, Mattel.