Me and Edward Cullen + Vampire Death Ideas

So Edward Cullen and I share a birthday. Who knew?

I still don’t like my vampires glittering in the sun and going all emo on me. But in honor of Robert Pattinson and myself and our special days–although I suspect his will be more special than mine, I’m taking a blog break today. Just a short commercial message.

I’m working on some vampire killings in my w.i.p. So, cut off their heads, pull out their hearts, burn them, stake them, throw ’em in the sun. How else can my good vampires kill off my bad vampires? Toss out some ideas. If I use your method in the book, I’ll name one of my vampires after you and you’ll get a credit on the acknowledgment page! (How optimistic is that!?)

Now, off for cake!

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About Suzanne Johnson

Author of urban fantasy, paranormal romance, and suspense. As Suzanne Johnson, she is the author of the Sentinels of New Orleans urban fantasy series (Royal Street; River Road: Elysian Fields, Pirate’s Alley, Belle Chasse, Frenchmen Street (March 2018). Writing as Susannah Sandlin, she is the author of the Penton Legacy series (Redemption; Absolution; Omega; Storm Force; Allegiance; ILLUMINATION); The Collectors series (Lovely, Dark, and Deep; Deadly, Calm, and Cold); and the Wilds of the Bayou series (Wild Man’s Curse; Black Diamond).

17 thoughts on “Me and Edward Cullen + Vampire Death Ideas

  1. Is it your birthday today? Woot! Squee! 25 never looked so good, sweets! xoxo

    Let’s see…I’m a big fan of immolation via the sun. Wonder if you could off them by having them wake up in a tanning bed and then have someone turn it on? That cracks me up for some reason.

    Ah! Vampire Kerri smolders to death in the Quick Tan on Main Street! I can just see the headlines now.

    Be sure to let us know how this contest plays out.

    P.S. Where’s my cake? I’m friggin’ starving on my postpartum diet from hell.

  2. Sherry, my vamps can’t go out in the sun. Unfortunately the vamps they’re fighting with can’t either 🙂

    Kerri, my office-mates came in with this ginormous ice cream-laden “banana split” ice cream cake. Oh well. Diet tomorrow 🙂 I also have a silver tiara with pink “gemstones” taunting me from my desk.

    Love the tanning bed idea.

  3. I heard that swift running water will do a vamp in. Good vamp holds bad vamps head under a running faucet!

    Happy, Happy B-Day 2U!!!

  4. Javelin? The only thing they could find laying around.

    wooden bullets

    how about not dead, the old cement shoes at the bottom of the river eternally..

    UV battery light

  5. Happy birthday!!!

    Hmm… Light the vamps on fire? The unholy sparklers of the night… xD Or you could lace a body with dynamite, so when the drink the blood it blows up… Or trap them in a silver cage until the sun comes up.

  6. Does holy water do anything? If so, inject enough of it into the system (straight into the heart?) and ta da. Depends on your exact canon where you can put it, or how much you’d need, but it’s an idea. Be a bit easier than just dunking a vampire into a pool of holy water, but if you have that, why not?

    If cutting off the head works, then what about simply substantial damage to the head as well? Can the head heal no matter how severe the damage so long as it’s attached, or is there a cut-off (ha ha) point that doesn’t require actual cutting off the head? If that is the case, mess up the head with enough damage somehow (bullets? blows of an axe? some other way?).

  7. LOL–I love the way you guys think! I have to see what I can work into my plot…looks like my vampire’s going to be female!

  8. Chiming in here because I can…

    I have to go with a less traditional way of killing a vampire. Say alchemy/blood-burning or perhaps diablerie. Either could be festive.

    I can’t be a winne though. Suzanne just keeps me locked in the basement to steal pieces of my gray matter when she needs it. 🙂

  9. It would be great if your good vampires could design some sort of elaborate Rube Goldberg device so that the bad vampires wouldn’t know at first that they were being tricked/killed, and when they found out, it would be too late. Plus, it would keep your good vampires out of danger. Just a thought.

    Thanks for the fun contest!


  10. Ooh, I love it! How about some good ole fashioned ripping their heads and limbs off? Tough one, you named most of the usual ideas. Tie them down and make them watch Twilight over and over? 🙂

  11. How about some kind of blood borne virus that is either injected or drunk by the vampire – then the infected blood does something nasty to them and they end up as a pile of goo on the floor?

    Or something that makes them throw up blood so they can’t “digest” which means they starve.

    You can tell I’m in the medical profession can’t you?! LOL.

    My first thought actually was to catch the vampire in a vice and squish them thus messy, bloody, gory explosion of flesh and blood.