Preternatura Holiday Guide: Shopping for the Vampire Lover

The holidays are almost here, and if you’re like me, you’ve just begun shopping. What, you’re done? You started in July? Gah!

So I thought I’d pull together a few gift guides for those of us prone to the less-plain-vanilla side of life, beginning today with some fun toys and trinkets for the vampire…er, I mean the vampire-lover…in your life. What do you like? Seen other vampire things you want to share a link for? (Coming up soon: the werewolf shopping guide, the zombie shopping guide, and more…)
1. Vampire Blood Incense
I mean…ick. Plus, on the package: “Harvested through an advanced process in which vampires are slowly bled.  The unearthly qualities of the blood are isolated and extracted into a premium incense. Some vampires were harmed during this process but none met true death.” Uh-huh. 
2. L’il Vampire Baby Pacifier
I actually have a newborn nephew, and am thinking Noah could use a little vampire love for the holidays 🙂 
3. “Bite Me” Bottle Opener
Hey, this is kinda cool. And if it’s real silver, depending on your vampire mythos, it could double as a weapon.
4. Dracula Dog Costume
I don’t know about you guys, but Shane and Tanker would bite me themselves if I tried to put this on either one of them. They have much higher standards.
5. Take a Dip of This
So…nothing says Christmas like a coffin-shaped dip bowl with a vampire on the bottom, right? Right?
6. Hardcore Hardware
From the folks at, some serious oral hardware–your own retractable fangs. Because you don’t always want to just be hanging out, you know?
7. Emergency Rations
In case you get stuck at a boring office holiday party without the proper liquid refreshment, carry your own vial of blood on a necklace, guarded by dragon charms. (Also from the fine folks at
8. Words That Kill
For the vampire who has everything, a set of 200 vampire-related word magnets in this Vampire Poetry Kit to leave bloody love notes on your fridge. Where you keep the chilled blood, I guess.
9. When A Simple Card Won’t Do
When you care enough to kill with the very best, spotted on etsy, a vampire slaying kit, complete with two stakes, a wooden mallet, a Bible, some rosary beads, some garlic powder–all in antique bottles. 
10. Yummmm
Huh? Wha? He’s not for sale? Damn. 
So, what’s under your vampire’s holiday tree? Coming up next….the Werewolf Shopping Guide.

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About Suzanne Johnson

Author of urban fantasy, paranormal romance, and suspense. As Suzanne Johnson, she is the author of the Sentinels of New Orleans urban fantasy series (Royal Street; River Road: Elysian Fields, Pirate's Alley, Belle Chasse, Frenchmen Street (March 2018). Writing as Susannah Sandlin, she is the author of the Penton Legacy series (Redemption; Absolution; Omega; Storm Force; Allegiance; ILLUMINATION); The Collectors series (Lovely, Dark, and Deep; Deadly, Calm, and Cold); and the Wilds of the Bayou series (Wild Man's Curse; Black Diamond).

13 thoughts on “Preternatura Holiday Guide: Shopping for the Vampire Lover

  1. This is pretty awesome. I’ve seen that vampire pacifier and thought about buying it for my niece or nephew but figured their parents wouldn’t be amused.

  2. @Becky–these are fun, aren’t they? Can’t wait to see what I find on my werewolf hunt 🙂

    @Teawench–yeah, I really almost ordered it for my nephew. His mom was into Twilight so she’d be all for it. His dad…not so much.

    @S.R. and Tina…Eric is going to be very busy this Christmas, so I think we can add Damon to the list!

  3. Anyone ever try the Tru Blood drink? I’d worry it was terrible, lol. The empty bottles would be a cool collectible though.