Remember last week’s blog about curiosity? Well, while putting together Monday’s blog, I did something authors tend to do obsessively: pop over to check on the dismal sales of their books on Amazon.
A review caught my eye for some reason and it made me laugh because after a book’s been out a month or so, I stop reading the reviews and this one-star review was funny. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love getting reviews—authors desperately NEED reviews, and I’ve heard that unless one has 50 positive reviews, one doesn’t get picked up and promoted in those infamous Amazon algorithms. And no, I don’t like getting one-star reviews. Ever.
(Now, I can’t say for sure whether or not that’s true about the Amazon algorithms, but WILD MAN’S CURSE only has 23 reviews. Had a chance to read it but haven’t reviewed it? Just sayin’. Hated it? Well, you can say that too, although I don’t have any really bad reviews on it and I’d hate for you to ruin my record. Still, if that’s how you feel, go for it.)
Anyway, I’ve seen some hilarious vlogs where authors read some of their one-star reviews, but between vocal problems and camera aversion, I’ll do a written version. Since it’s a big no-no to respond to reviews, of course, I’m not saying what the reviewer’s username is, or even what book it is—and I will forever defend the reader’s right to review a book however he or she sees fit. It’s just fun to get in the last word every once in a while.
And…here we go!
I’m having trouble getting through this book. The heroine is disagreeable and dismissive to the point of stupidity. I liked the pirate.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all like the pirate. Damn you, Jean Lafitte—you couldn’t even earn me two stars?
Is this a YA? Might explain the immature writing.
No, it if had been YA it would have sold more copies, immature writing and all.
The timeline of New Orleans after the hurricane seems improbable and illogical therefore jars you out of story.
Hell, lady, you should have lived through it. You’d think improbable and illogical.
Sorry I paid even $2.99 for it. This POS is the same predictable, supernatural crap as Laurel K. Hamilton’s.
DJ should have such a sex life!
I missed the second book in this series and will eventually buy it to complete the set but didn’t like it.
Your argument seems improbable and illogical therefore jars me out of my mind—but thanks for the future purchase!
This is a fun romp, but alas, the tale is not over.
No, alas, it is not.
Funny how the premise of this book is based on the final episode of the recent “True Blood” season.
Even funnier is how the book was written two years before the episode aired.
What a sorry book about vampires that do not exist and that drink human blood.
Damn it, why didn’t I write about the vampires that do exist and drink lemonade?
I have enjoyed the entire series. I plan to read this story to the end!
Then why did you give it a one-star review?
This was trash. I deleted it from my library. The f- word was in about every paragraph as far as I was able to read. Mostly just turned all the pages. This really is bad.
Since you were turning all the pages, you should’ve counted the f-words. Mirren Kincaid, this wasn’t even your book, you no-good f-bombing fake vampire who doesn’t really exist. Glad she didn’t get hold of your book.
Great story but I would really like to finish it!!!!!!
I got one word for you: serial. You only read the first installment before leaving the review.
This book could have been so good, but it sadly was just OK. It did not play out at all like I would have wanted to and instead had romance.
Yeah, funny thing about romantic suspense….that darn romance.
The plot is brutal and the villains are as bad as I have ever read. It is well plotted and the setting makes it a fascinating book but beware. You won’t sleep tonight.
Yeah, funny thing about romantic suspense….that darn suspense.
This book was dumb. I hope this person becomes a better writer in the future.
Yeah, me too.
I find it amazing that a female author would use so much foul language.
I know. Horrible, isn’t it? Just f*cking horrible.
Ha! That was such fun I might have to tackle the one-stars on Goodreads one of these days. Which was your favorite? There’s a TBR giveaway at stake. It’ll probably suck and be worth a one-star review!